This text was originally written in Arabic and published on InfoMigrants Arabic.

In a refugee camp on the Aegean island of Leros, Greece, Sistnol Michael, a father of three, is sitting in grief and sorrow as his escape turned into a nightmare.

Before he came to Europe, Sistnol was a successful merchant in Malakal and owned his own business, but his life turned upside down due to deteriorating security and repeated harassment by state authorities.

"I had been arrested several times on arbitrary and tribal charges. Anyone from my tribe would be arrested if they joined the rebellion," he told InfoMigrants by video call from Leros.

"I was a merchant and had nothing to do with politics," he added.

Michael fled to Khartoum, but he didn't feel safe there either.

In 2019, he moved to Uganda, where he registered as a refugee and settled in Entebbe, near the capital, Kampala. He continued his business but faced similar threats of being arrested. So, he had to move.

In 2019, he made the fateful decision to seek refuge in Europe. But like thousands of others on the migration route, the promise of safety came at an unbearable cost.

'I lived in constant fear'

"I left Uganda, even though it's a good country and my business was thriving. (But) I was constantly harassed, even directly threatened. While riding a boda, I was involved in a serious accident," he recalled.

Boda-bodas are motorcycle taxis which are ubiquitous in East African capitals like Nairobi and Kampala.

The injuries left him bedridden for three months. But he faced threats that continued.

"I filed four reports with the UN but didn't find the protection I hoped for. So, despite feeling comfortable and stable in Uganda, I decided to leave," he said.

"I had to return to Juba, the capital of South Sudan, to apply for a visa at the Turkish embassy. Because of the threats, I had to hide in a hotel for three days after submitting my application until I received my visa," he added.

"I lived in constant fear, and I didn’t show my face to anyone," he said.

After obtaining a visa, he flew to Turkey to then embark on an irregular route toward Europe. However, his journey ended in unimaginable sorrow.

"I did not know that this journey would end with the loss of the most precious thing I had in my life. I lost my child while trying to cross,” he said.

Left drifting at sea

"After arriving in Turkey, my family and I began to be subjected to repeated harassment by Turkish police.

"At the hotel, they suddenly knocked on the door and arrested me and my family away. This happened more than once. One time, they took me to a place they call 'Avanci' in Turkish, which is a detention and immigration center."

At Avanci, Michael met an African man who advised him to mull over fleeing to Europe via Greece.

Michael said his fellow African man helped him book a taxi that took him and his family to a designated location.

"We boarded the boat, and after roughly five hours at sea, we were intercepted by the coast guard. They were soldiers. They took our phones and told us they had contacted the Turkish Coast Guard, who were on their way," he said.

"After about 15 minutes, they told us that Turkish forces were about to arrive. Then they threw the boat’s engine into the sea and left us drifting," he said.

Panic Erupted

"I tried to talk to them several times, but they left us in the boat and left us behind. They asked me to call the coast guard, so I called them from a phone of a disabled woman onboard. After a while, they came and took us straight to prison,” he said.

"After seven days, we were released because of my pregnant wife's condition, but after she gave birth, they locked us up again."

"Six months later, we tried to board another boat again. This time, we succeeded and approached land, but suddenly, a Greek coast guard ship appeared. We were scared and jumped into the water, because if they came, they could have been pushed back. The boat was light, and many who jumped hit the ground hard," he said.

"I was holding my daughters between my legs, while my seven-year-old son was sitting next to me. When I came to, I pulled my daughter, my wife, and a young girl from the water and ran toward them. I lost consciousness during the accident," he said.

Michael didn’t realize his son was missing until it was too late.

"I asked about my son, and I was informed they managed to rescue him. When my dizziness had subsided, I tried to look for him, but I couldn't find him. We informed the authorities on the island, the police, and the UN about the accident," he added.

Heartbreaking news

He said they took DNA samples from him and his wife, adding, “because my son was young, I wasn't sure he was safe and that a ship had rescued him."

"I am now in the camp in Greece, searching for my son, and I pray to God to find him. I hope another country will host us, for the sake of my children and our lives."

Contacting InfoMigrants several days later, Michael said he received the devastating news that his son's body had been found near the Turkish coast.

His voice broke with sorrow. "If I could go back in time, I would never have traveled with my family. Never."

Author: Nada Faroog Abdalfatah Gaber

Translation: Mohamed Farhan